"Because you deserve to be heard — and so does your loved one."
When you're caring for someone, conversations with doctors, nurses, or specialists can feel overwhelming. You might be juggling emotions, medical jargon, family dynamics, and a tight appointment window — all while trying to advocate for someone you love.
At Nurtura, we believe communication is one of the most powerful tools a carer has. Here's how to make the most of every interaction with healthcare professionals — so your loved one gets the best care, and you feel more confident and informed.
1. Come Prepared — and Prioritised
Appointments are short. Before you go in, write down:
💡 Pro Tip:
Bring a notebook or use your phone to take notes. Don't rely on memory — especially under pressure.
2. Be Clear, Calm, and Direct
Start with what matters most. Use phrases like:
"I've noticed a change in their behaviour — can I walk you through it?"
"What's the plan if this medication doesn't help?"
"I'm not sure I understand — could you explain that in simpler terms?"
You don't have to sound like a doctor. You just have to speak from what you see and know.
3. See Yourself as Part of the Team
You're not just a family member — you're part of the care circle.
It's okay to:
You bring a side of the story no chart can capture.
4. Follow Up (and Follow Through)
After the appointment:
5. Speak Up If Something Doesn't Feel Right
If something feels rushed, confusing, or unfair, you're allowed to pause and ask questions. Try:
"Can we slow down for a moment? I want to make sure I understand."
"I'm worried this isn't working — what are the other options?"
"Can we bring in a specialist or a translator to help clarify?"
Your concerns are valid. You know your loved one best.
6. What If Your Loved One Won't Let You Join the Appointment?
This is tough — and common. Some parents or relatives may feel ashamed, defensive, or simply want to maintain control over their health.
Here's what you can do:
Respect their autonomy — but stay involved
It's their right to attend appointments alone, especially if they have mental capacity. But that doesn't mean you can't help behind the scenes.
Ask if you can listen in by phone
If your loved one is open to it, suggest joining the appointment by speakerphone. This can be less intimidating for them than having you physically present, while still helping you stay informed.
"Would you be okay if I just listened in from home, in case there's anything you forget or want help remembering later?"
Write a note to the GP or provider ahead of time
Share your concerns in writing — factually, compassionately, and without blame. Doctors can't always reply due to privacy laws, but they can take your input into account.
Example:
"I understand my mother prefers to attend appointments alone. I just wanted to flag a few things we've noticed at home, including increased confusion in the evenings and missed doses of medication."
Remember: You Belong in the Room — Even If You're Not Physically There
Being a carer means navigating boundaries as well as logistics. Even if your loved one draws a line, your insight and support still matter. Keep showing up — respectfully, consistently, and with love.
✨ Nurtura Can Help
Nurtura helps you stay organised before and after appointments, coordinate with family, and gently nudge you to follow up. Because good communication leads to better care — and you shouldn't have to carry it all alone.
👉 Join the waitlist or follow us on Instagram for more support built by carers, for carers.
About the Author
Jean Du is the Strategic Delivery & Partnerships Lead at Nurtura.
Jean is a Chinese-Australian pharmacist, strategist, connector, systems thinker, and carer who previously worked at Australia's Department of Health, Disability and Ageing.
Based in London, she knows what it's like to provide care from far away. At Nurtura, she leads delivery and partnerships— turning Nurtura's vision into something that actually works for families, for partners, and for the long haul. She sits at the crossroads of product, operations, and storytelling.
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